Our Voices

Almost every evening, I’m greeted by a familiar and welcome sound—my husband Dan whistling as he walks through the front door. I love the way he enters the house, upbeat, and smiling, no matter what kind of day he’s had. I think his whistling reflects his ability to find his own cadence in all the roles he plays—father, husband, and rabbi.

To our daughters, Dan is the parent who always encouraged them to “get into good kinds of trouble.” He rejoiced when they came home covered in paint or mud because that meant they had a good day. He offered meaningful advice when they were heading out on new adventures from sleep away camp to college to overseas studies. He let them know that while they were heading into an exciting time, filled with new experiences, not every moment was going to be fun or positive. And that was not just okay but an integral part of the experience. He was never afraid to share his own doubts or stumbles so that they knew perfection is not the goal nor the expectation.

To me, Dan is the love of my life and the partner with whom I’ve created a full and meaningful world. Dan’s commitment to his rabbinate places many demands on him. He’s come late to family vacations or left early because someone here needed him. He’s missed dance recitals, performances, softball games and more. But his work as a rabbi has nurtured our family in more ways than I can adequately convey. The conversation around our dinner table often included animated discussions of an idea or ethical issue. However, I think the biggest impact on all of us has been how much we have learned by watching all of you—our PTS community—navigate life’s greatest joys and deepest struggles. We’ve seen what it means to be fully in community by being there with him and you.

To all of you, Dan is your rabbi. It’s been a tremendous joy for me to get to see him fine tune the different aspects of his rabbinate over the 30 years since his ordination and particularly in the last 18 years here at PTS. One thing that continues to amaze me about Dan is that often when we all are at our worst, he manages to be at his best. Whether he is needed at the bedside of a loved one, at a funeral service, or talking one-on-one in his office, I am struck by how he shows up day after day, year after year with the exact blend of empathy, guidance, and grace that we need in that encounter. Whether he is teaching, giving a sermon, or speaking at a board or committee meeting, Dan constantly works to imbue each moment with both depth and holiness.

Dan’s cadence through life is upbeat and full of joy. Thank you for honoring both his hard work and the fullness of who he is. And next time you hear whistling in the halls at PTS, you’ll likely know who it is—your rabbi.

Additional Voices articles at sholom.org/our-voices.